126 lines
5.7 KiB
Plaintext
126 lines
5.7 KiB
Plaintext
Actually, that’s a feature.
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Did you check for a virus on your system?
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Even though it doesn’t work, how does it feel?
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Everything looks fine on my end.
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How is that possible?
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I broke that deliberately to do some testing.
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I can’t make that a priority right now.
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I can’t test everything.
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I couldn’t find any examples of how that can be done anywhere online.
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I couldn’t find any library that can even do that.
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I did a quick fix last time but it broke when we rebooted.
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I didn’t anticipate that I would make any errors.
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I didn’t create that part of the program.
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I didn’t receive a ticket for it.
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I forgot to commit the code that fixes that.
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I have never seen that before in my life.
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I have too many other high priority things to do right now.
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I haven’t been able to reproduce that.
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I haven’t had a chance to run that code yet.
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I haven’t had any experience with that before.
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I haven’t touched that code in weeks.
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I heard there was a solar flare today.
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I must have been stress-testing our production server.
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I must not have understood what you were asking for.
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I thought I finished that.
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I thought he knew the context of what I was talking about.
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I thought you signed off on that.
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I told you yesterday it would be done by the end of today.
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I usually get a notification when that happens.
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I was just fixing that.
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I was told to stop working on that when something important came up.
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In the interest of efficiency I only check my email for that on a Friday.
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It can’t be broken, it passes all unit tests.
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It must be a hardware problem.
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It must be because of a leap year.
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It probably won’t happen again.
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It was working in my head.
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It works for me.
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It works, but it’s not been tested.
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It would have taken twice as long to build it properly.
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It would take too long to rewrite the code from scratch.
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It’s a browser compatibility issue.
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It’s a character encoding issue.
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It’s a compatibility issue.
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It’s a known bug with the programming language.
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It’s a remote vendor issue.
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It’s always been like that.
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It’s an unexpected emergent behaviour of several last minute abstractions.
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It’s just some unlucky coincidence.
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It’s never done that before.
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It’s never shown unexpected behavior like this before.
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It’s not a code problem — our users need more training.
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I’ll have to fix that at a later date.
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I’m not familiar with it so I didn’t fix it in case I made it worse.
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I’m not getting any error codes.
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I’m not sure as I’ve never had a look at how that works before.
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I’m still working on that as we speak.
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I’m surprised it was working at all.
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I’m surprised it works as well as it does.
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Management insisted we wouldn’t need to waste our time writing unit tests.
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Maybe somebody forgot to pay our hosting company.
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My time was split in a way that meant I couldn’t do either project properly
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No one told me so I was forced to assume which way to do that.
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Nobody asked me how long it would actually take.
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Nobody has ever complained about it.
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Oh, that was just a temporary fix.
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Oh, that was only supposed to be a placeholder.
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Oh, you said you DIDN’T want that to happen?
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Our code quality is no worse than anyone else in the industry.
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Our hardware is too slow to cope with demand.
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Our internet connection must not be working.
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Our redundant systems must have failed as well.
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Please ignore that, it’s for debugging
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Somebody must have changed my code.
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THIS can’t be the source of THAT.
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That behaviour is in the original specification.
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That code seemed so simple I didn’t think it needed testing.
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That error means it was successful.
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That feature was slated for phase two.
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That feature would be outside the scope.
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That important email must have been marked as spam.
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That isn’t covered by my job description.
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That process requires human oversight that nobody was providing.
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That was literally a one in a million error.
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That wasn’t in the original specification.
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That worked perfectly when I developed it.
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That wouldn’t be economically feasible.
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That’s already fixed, it just hasn’t taken effect yet.
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That’s interesting, how did you manage to make it do that?
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That’s not a bug it’s a configuration issue.
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That’s the fault of the graphic designer.
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The accounting department must have cancelled that subscription.
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The client must have been hacked.
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The client wanted it changed at the last minute.
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The code is compiling.
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The DNS hasn’t propagated yet.
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The download must have been corrupted.
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The existing design makes it difficult to do the right thing.
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The marketing department made us put that there.
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The person responsible doesn’t work here anymore.
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The problem seems to be with our legacy software.
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The program has never collected that information.
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The project manager said no one would want that feature
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The project manager told me to do it that way.
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The request must have dropped some packets.
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The specifications were ambiguous.
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The third party documentation doesn’t exist.
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The user must not know how to use it.
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There must be something strange in your data.
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There was too little data to bother with the extra functionality at the time.
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There’s currently a problem with our hosting company.
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This code was not supposed to go in to production yet.
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This is a previously known bug you told me not to work on yet.
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We didn’t have enough time to peer review the final changes.
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Well done, you found my easter egg!
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Well, at least it displays a very pretty error.
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Well, at least we know not to try that again.
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Well, that’s a first.
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What did I tell you about using parts of the system you don’t understand?
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What did you type in wrong to get it to crash?
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Where were you when the program blew up?
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Why do you want to do it that way?
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You must have done something wrong.
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You’re doing it wrong.
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You must have the wrong version.
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